empathy exams

" A month later, Dr. M. bent over the operating table and apologized. ' I'm sorry for my tone on the phone,' she said. 'When you called about your abortion. I didn't understand what you were asking.' It was an apology whose logic I didn't entirely follow. (Didn't understand what you were asking?) It was an apology that had been prompted. At some point my mother had called Dr. m. to discuss my upcoming procedure-and had mentioned I'd been upset by our conversation."
A prompted apology leaves the recipient feeling underwhelmed. Apologies should be genuine and come from the heart, not just because you feel guilty. If a provider doesn't understand what a patient is asking or why, they need to ask more questions about the subject. Maybe she was concerned about having two medical procedures so close together or if her heart condition would be an issue with the anesthesia used in the abortion process. It is important for a provider to understand what their patient needs and explain important information until it is understand.
This passage reminded me of a time I was about to have an emergency procedure that I felt needed to wait or be done a different way. The doctor Snapped at me when I was very emotional that this was what needed to be done and will need to be done right now. no questions asked! He later apologized for his abrupt behavior and that there just wasn't time to explain everything to me with what was hanging in the balance.